Wild America
Two days ago I had what was, without a doubt, the most exciting and perplexing Saturday morning in recent memory.
I get up, rub my bleary eyes, and take stock of my surroundings. Nothing unusual. "Oh," I say to myself "I should move whatever that is under my desk before I sit down to check my email. I might step on it."
Wait, what is that?
That, my dear readers, looked like this:
I quickly run through a mental inventory of everything I own. This thing on the floor is nothing of mine. I take a closer look.
Jesus. It's a...it's a...no, it can't be. No, it definitely is...A SNAKE! There was a snake in the middle of my bedroom floor.
I'm not really scared of snakes. I wasn't about to try to pick it up but I didn't squeal or freak out. I got some tupperware.
It is a Pacific Ring-necked snake. They're mildly venomous and lay eggs in the summer. Occasionally in communal nests. Sweet.
So I woke up next to a mildly venomous snake. No big deal. Here's the real mystery: How the hell did this snake get into my room? Some options:
1) It could have come in through the front door. It would have had to slither all the way from the door to my room, though, and pass up lots of cool places to hide on the way. The idea of a snake coming through our front door is, admittedly, a little absurd, but the whole situation is ludicrous from the word "go" so I'm not counting anything out.
2) My roommate put it there. (Josh, if you're reading this, I'm moving out shortly anyway, ok?)
3) It came in through the window. Again, I think this is pretty unlikely. Snakes can't climb walls (I don't think).
4) It found some sneaky way in through the wall I share with an overgrown side yard. I am pretty certain this is what happened. A quick trip to the side yard revealed countless cracks and vents, many of which looked very snake-friendly.
The other confusing thing is that these snakes are said to like dark damp places, but this guy was right in the middle of my bedroom floor when he could have been curled up in my laundry. What was this snake's motivation?
A week ago I was loudly mocking that upcoming movie Snakes On A Plane. Maybe I should have been a little more circumspect. That movie does look totally lame though.
I mean awesome. It looks awesome. Especially the snakes.
I get up, rub my bleary eyes, and take stock of my surroundings. Nothing unusual. "Oh," I say to myself "I should move whatever that is under my desk before I sit down to check my email. I might step on it."
Wait, what is that?
That, my dear readers, looked like this:
I quickly run through a mental inventory of everything I own. This thing on the floor is nothing of mine. I take a closer look.
Jesus. It's a...it's a...no, it can't be. No, it definitely is...A SNAKE! There was a snake in the middle of my bedroom floor.
I'm not really scared of snakes. I wasn't about to try to pick it up but I didn't squeal or freak out. I got some tupperware.
It is a Pacific Ring-necked snake. They're mildly venomous and lay eggs in the summer. Occasionally in communal nests. Sweet.
So I woke up next to a mildly venomous snake. No big deal. Here's the real mystery: How the hell did this snake get into my room? Some options:
1) It could have come in through the front door. It would have had to slither all the way from the door to my room, though, and pass up lots of cool places to hide on the way. The idea of a snake coming through our front door is, admittedly, a little absurd, but the whole situation is ludicrous from the word "go" so I'm not counting anything out.
2) My roommate put it there. (Josh, if you're reading this, I'm moving out shortly anyway, ok?)
3) It came in through the window. Again, I think this is pretty unlikely. Snakes can't climb walls (I don't think).
4) It found some sneaky way in through the wall I share with an overgrown side yard. I am pretty certain this is what happened. A quick trip to the side yard revealed countless cracks and vents, many of which looked very snake-friendly.
The other confusing thing is that these snakes are said to like dark damp places, but this guy was right in the middle of my bedroom floor when he could have been curled up in my laundry. What was this snake's motivation?
A week ago I was loudly mocking that upcoming movie Snakes On A Plane. Maybe I should have been a little more circumspect. That movie does look totally lame though.
I mean awesome. It looks awesome. Especially the snakes.
posted by Andrew at 8:55 PM
2 Comments:
I'll say, you got a keep man. It's destiny, she found you and know you guys will live happily forever. Tossing her out, killing her or anything of the sort will imply bad karma. JAJJAJAJAJA Good luck with you new girlfriend.
At least it wasn't an alligator.
Great start on your blog, btw. Reptile stories bring em in every time!
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