Wordology #1

We need a verb for the reverse nod. You know, that quick up-then-down snap of the head. Usually accompanies a greeting or question.

'Don' would seem the obvious choice but that's taken.

Loose Cannons

The World Cup can have political overtones. Angola played former colonial power Portugal. Poland lost a heartbreaker to former invader Germany. These games have a special import: they recall--and represent--political conflicts.

Now the U.S. is getting in on the act. Forward Eddie Johnson is taking our absurd national swagger and belligerence to the soccer field. While war analogies are familiar in sports, this kind of bombast is familiar in American foreign policy.

Listen Eddie, forget about the PR. We got embarrassed by the Czechs. You literally don't have time to stop training for long enough to stand in front of a microphone.

Italy's going to be winning 2-0 in the 80th minute and Eddie'll tell us they're in their last throes.

Beast Wars

Signaling is very important in nature. After the shot across the bow from order Squamata (see below), in an effort to show the rest of the animal kingdom who's boss, I participated in the roasting and consumption of an entire pig. It was delicious and I haven't had any trouble with the snakes since.

Wild America

Two days ago I had what was, without a doubt, the most exciting and perplexing Saturday morning in recent memory.

I get up, rub my bleary eyes, and take stock of my surroundings. Nothing unusual. "Oh," I say to myself "I should move whatever that is under my desk before I sit down to check my email. I might step on it."

Wait, what is that?

That, my dear readers, looked like this:
















I quickly run through a mental inventory of everything I own. This thing on the floor is nothing of mine. I take a closer look.

Jesus. It's a...it's a...no, it can't be. No, it definitely is...A SNAKE! There was a snake in the middle of my bedroom floor.















I'm not really scared of snakes. I wasn't about to try to pick it up but I didn't squeal or freak out. I got some tupperware.















It is a Pacific Ring-necked snake. They're mildly venomous and lay eggs in the summer. Occasionally in communal nests. Sweet.

So I woke up next to a mildly venomous snake. No big deal. Here's the real mystery: How the hell did this snake get into my room? Some options:

1) It could have come in through the front door. It would have had to slither all the way from the door to my room, though, and pass up lots of cool places to hide on the way. The idea of a snake coming through our front door is, admittedly, a little absurd, but the whole situation is ludicrous from the word "go" so I'm not counting anything out.

2) My roommate put it there. (Josh, if you're reading this, I'm moving out shortly anyway, ok?)

3) It came in through the window. Again, I think this is pretty unlikely. Snakes can't climb walls (I don't think).

4) It found some sneaky way in through the wall I share with an overgrown side yard. I am pretty certain this is what happened. A quick trip to the side yard revealed countless cracks and vents, many of which looked very snake-friendly.

The other confusing thing is that these snakes are said to like dark damp places, but this guy was right in the middle of my bedroom floor when he could have been curled up in my laundry. What was this snake's motivation?

A week ago I was loudly mocking that upcoming movie Snakes On A Plane. Maybe I should have been a little more circumspect. That movie does look totally lame though.

I mean awesome. It looks awesome. Especially the snakes.

The Inaugural Post

My inaugural post. Because I am hoping to make each post better than the last, I'm going to stop here for now.